catching up...

hey all.
haven't been on in a while... so i thought i'd catch up.
and yes. i know. i'm writing to no one. i'm not delusional, i know i have no followers. no one reads this. but it helps me if i pretend someone is listening. 
anyways. 
 its been a while. things haven't really changed. there's less than a week until christmas and i haven't bought a single thing for anyone. i feel like an awful person but i honestly just haven't had the time. the school play was yesterday, all of my friends that were in it did so well! i was cracking up the whole time :] 
they did the 1920s play "You Can't Take It With You", and it was funnier than i thought it would be. we (a few friends and i), sat in the very front row. it was great. 
my stepdad has been in connecticut for the past few weeks interviewing for a new employee. he usually works from home, and its been hard not having him around. its just weird...
the workload at school has been getting out of hand. it gets to the point where im up until 2...3 in the morning working. and then i have to roll out of bed a 5:45 and pretend im perfectly fine and ready to face the day. 
the truth is... i dont think im fine. it seems like nothing can go right or easily anymore. i try so hard and i just fail fail fail. 
but hopefully things will get better. christmas break is calling my name and im just waiting to run after it. 4 days left. 
til next time - - -  x JuLMusic x

god. i really like him :] 

every song i hear
every joke thats told
every thing i see

reminds me of him. 
i hate that. 

but doesnt that tell you something?
if you cant get someone out of your head...
maybe theyre supposed to be there 

just installed the blogger widget! exceedingly nifty!

random surveying

Layer One: On the Outside
Name:: Julia
Birthday:: september 18th
Current Location:: my room
Eye Color:: dark brown & light brown with some goldishness
Hair Color:: reddish brownish purplish
Righty or Lefty:: right
Zodiac Sign:: virgo

Layer Two: On the Outside
Your Heritage:: half italian & irish/scottich/german/english/french canadian/french/a little native american
Your Fears:: dying alone. wax people and realistic mannequins.
Your Weakness:: procrastination
Goal:: learn to love life more.

Layer Three: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
Your thoughts first waking up:: fuck! i wanna sleeeeep more! uuggghhh!
Your bedtime:: when i feeeeeeeel like it.
Your most missed memory:: my great grandma <33 i love you

Layer Four: Your Pick
Pepsi or Coke:: stewart's root beer
McDonald's or Burger King:: five guys burgers and fries!
Single or Group dates:: hmm. group? idk...
Adidas or Nike:: converse!
Lipton Tea or Nestea:: nestea
Chocolate or Vanilla:: caramel
Cappuccino or Coffee:: coffee

Layer Five: Do You?
Smoke:: no fucking way
Have a crush:: yes i do...
Think you've been in love:: no.
Want to get married:: someday
Believe in yourself:: not always
Think you're a health freak:: hell no

just an ordinary day...

i'm starting to think my friends don't think i should like ...him.
let's give him an imaginary name.
how about curly. bahaha. okay
so i don't think my friends think curly and i would ever be a couple.
and i agree with them actually.
he would never like me.
but i feel like my friends aren't being supportive.
school was okay.
pottery was fun :]
i love working on the wheel.
hale, mad, & kim make me laugh.
but now im covered in clay :/

i just reread all of my blogs including this one and realized how shallow i sound.
seriously. what the f** is wrong with me.
god. i hate everything about myself :[

things are looking...up?

things were okay today.
i really like someone :]
but i don't think he likes me. :/
we're friends.
he hugged me today:]
but he's just a flirt.
so its not gonna happen. :[
but whatever. :/
today was a goodish day.
pottery class tomorrow :]
using the wheel with kim, hale, & mad
see you later - - - > x JuLMusic x

one of those f***ing days..

ever have one of those days?
when all you feel like doing is sleeping?
and all you can think about is the fact that you arent good enough?
well. im having one of those days.
ive spent the day roaming the internet and watching america's next top model reruns.
never before have i felt so useless.
ive been stabbed in the back before...
but this time i was truly blind sided.
i feel like CRAP.

About x JuLMusic x

so. i thought i'd start by telling you about..ME! bahaha. cause i dont know what else to do :/
I'm Julia. music & art are my LIFE. i believe that laughter can cure almost anything...temporarily. my life has changed a lot in the past few months. ive kinda hated it... but with the help of my family and some friends ive been able to push through. i never thought i was one to hate change...but i guess i am. im lucky to have the family i do...im really close with them. I love my friends more than anything roaming this place we call earth <33 well maybe except tyson ritter....jk [wow...that was weird. and random...but true hahaha] they always know how to make me feel better. we love being total idiots together and do the stupidest [but most fun] things. i never use the phrase "lol" cause its stupid. no one ever actually "LOLs" when they type "lol". sometimes i feel like the art of sarcasm is underappreciated. im OBSESSED with the musical "RENT" and the movie "across the universe". jim sturgess and joe anderson have the voices of angels. x33 OH! and that picture there?? yeah thats THE mark jacket. from rent. OH YES. you are JEALOUS. I love acting and singing and painting. the all-american rejects, the beatles, three days grace, taking back sunday, cobra starship, jack's mannequin, and escape the fate are a few of my favorites bands...there are many more. music is a HUGE part of my life and keeps me going when things are looking pretty crappy. and im not quite sure how to end this...so im gonna go with a rent quote. "there is no future. there is no past. i live this moment as my last." --jonathan larson

Blogging...

soo.. blogging.
ive never really "blogged" before.
so im gonna start by saying hello:] nice to see you there sitting behind your computer reading my blog.
not that you will... or will you?
i dont know...
i really hope you guys are those "newb" hating types...
cause i hate being new.
there's nothing wrong with it.
i think i was just traumatized by moving a lot as a child...
aaaaaanywayys.
so talk to me?
say hello. i dont bite.
i think im a fairly friendly person xD